Does anyone else hate being shushed?!
Ughhhhhhh. It irritates my soul.
I loathe shushing. I know hate is a strong word. Mrs. Dale, my 3rd-grade teacher taught me to say “dislike strongly” instead of hate, and I work really hard to not hate anyone or anything.
But I HATE being shushed. I have zero regrets about saying that.
My mom’s family is super Italian and if we lost our voices, our loud hand signals will still silence the biggest crowd.
We are loud, expressive people. We are not silenced or shushed for nothing. It’s one of the main reasons I used to get easily embarrassed while going to the movies with my mom and her also Italian, also loud friends. (And ironically, would often shush them.)
I’ve asked myself, “Self, why do you hate being shushed so much?” And I think it has to do with the belief that when they are shushing me, they are suppressing me. That I am being told I am too much and I take up too much. Too much energy. Too much noise. Too much space. When people shushed me in college, it felt like they were telling me that my existence was too much.
And for a while, I suppressed me. I became quieter. I became self-conscious. And I did everything in my power to become less instead of more.
Long walks. Reading. Journaling. Sitting at the park by myself. Dieting. Exercise. Silence in conversations.
Plenty of things that are, of course, good for me but all in the hopes to lose the unique essence of me. That somehow I would find freedom in becoming less.
Here’s what it really is, shushing is not the problem. There are times when it is necessary to be silent. Be still. Just simply be. Our world is too noisy and chaotic for us to have to add to it or feel the need to add to it. Silence really can be golden. I’m so thankful for the ways I’ve experienced beauty in the silent and in the still.
However, loud laughs, big smiles, outrageous dance moves, and true curvacious-ness have their beauty, too.
My friend, Gelly recently wrote a book on this idea of squeezing, fitting in, molding, and just all around shrinking we do in our lives to make ourselves less. Essentially out of a place of fears and doubts.
I’m excited for you all to read it. I’ve included the link because it is a book everyone should read, especially if you’ve ever tried to shrink yourself or squeeze into what you think others want you to be. I’m even more thankful for how she has encouraged me in my own dreams, in my own beauty. Shaking her pom poms for women everywhere, as a reminder of the type of woman I so hope to be.
Maybe certain people do want you to be less. Less loud. Less positive. Less smiley. Less shy. Less awkward. Less talkative. However, the “less” people were never really your people to begin with, were they?
Surround yourself with the “more” people. Who cheer you on as you are more vivacious, more full of life, walking in more freedom, and more the exact person you were created to be.
They may shush you, but they will never shrink you. They may ignore you, but they will never deplete you. They may dismiss you, but then they will never get to know the power of you.
So instead, dear kings and queens, be all you.
All the wonderfully made parts of you.
You are charisma, you are pizzaz-
You are a dream being lived out, and hopes held on.
You, you in the fullness of you are altogether too good
(Not too much), too good to be true.
Link to Girlish Vigor: