There’s a reason I teach history. I love to read over the words of those who have gone before us, to hear their humor, joy, pain, and life expressed in a manner different than how I would say it. To try to understand why something happened in history, but to connect with that person from way back when.
It’s a funny thing to read your words from a year ago. And usually not funny in a truly laughable way, but more so funny like, “Hmm that’s interesting.” When you read the old words you write, they sometimes strike you new.
And there is a reason I journal and keep my own personal history documented. Not because my life is particularly fascinating or noteworthy to anyone except me, but I really enjoy those glimpses into that moment of my life, who I was, and who I am now. Last year around this time, the new year started off rough. I had lost my Nonno (grandpa) and my teaching career was an everyday obstacle course. Tonight I read my own words from last year, “It’s 4:51 as I sit in rm. 215 with tears streaking down my face, and I fear I have lost a student for good. I fear that his hate for me has etched so deep in his heart that he will tune me out until June. That he will not soak up one historical event because of his bitterness towards me. And I am mad at him, but I am so mad at me…”
I’ll never forget how long it took me to get out of my chair on that Friday night after work and how I decided I would be better. I declared another new year’s resolution to start praying for him and I did.
At the end of the year he goes, “You’re actually not that bad, you’re pretty cool.” Lol. Good times. Thanks for the memories, bud.
Regardless of how he felt about me, it always comes down to how God feels about me. Fortunately, I don’t have to guess or wonder. We are unbelievably loved and affirmed by the Lord and as far as I’m concerned, that’s the only real approval I need.
Now many days (or every day) do I want all the 14-year-olds to declare how freaking awesome I am? Uh, yeah. But that’s not what I need and at the end of the day, not what truly matters in my job.
Here’s my point, whatever co-worker, parent, girlfriend, individual you are trying to appease or impress this new year, please, don’t. In their heart of hearts, they don’t want that pressure. The resolutions we make cannot be for them.
Set your goals on a better you, and set your heart on things above.
It will bring you so much more resolve than a half-hearted resolution ever could. I can’t wait to see what we do in the new year. It will be so good.
Cheers to 2018, dear friend!